As you follow my blog with the Daily Downloads, you’ll notice that there are some recurring themes. It’s not just about science. It’s not only how we apply new learnings in our lives using the latest knowledge of science and spirituality. And it’s not just about positivity.

It’s all of those things, and it’s streamed directly from the cosmos. Directly from the consciousness of all that is, including the archetypes like Jesus, Quan Yin, angels and archangels, and the laws of physics (yes, they talk). The recurring theme is that the messages are all something that applies in my life, and I share them because many are specifically for you too. We’re all in this together as one love. The problem is that I’m having a hard time…

If you look at the surface of the messages, they seem very positive, and often that comes from a place of healing or replacing limiting beliefs with positive, empowering ones. It’s me healing in real time. But I’m curious. I’m wondering what it is that’s holding me back (if anything at all).

I’ve become an expert on self love. But not the way I’d have imagined.

I will tell you that you don’t have to experience pain in order to grow. But that’s not the case with me. My growth has been fueled by pain. The truth is, I hurt. I do experience sadness. And a deep longing for something more. A longing to share my life with someone.

That’s why I’ve worked on myself. I could never go back to the way I once was. None of us can. Ever.

I’ve also seen what men put women through, including myself, and it saddens me. I’ve worked on myself so women can feel safe, protected, and loved. So their voice can be heard. So their touch can be felt. So their beauty can be truly appreciated. So I can bring my best self forward and in doing so, bring out the best in every beautiful soul I encounter.

The answer is loving myself.

But what if I’m wrong? When I meet someone and express interest, it seems like a great way to clear the space around me. Literally.

I recognize the signs when someone is affectionate towards me, yet unfortunately, so does everyone else. It seems as if someone is always willing to take someone away from me. And then there’s the recurring pattern of empowering women, only to see them try to reignite past relationships with abusive personalities. Eek.

Are we all just addicted to pain? In the past, we may have learned that we can get love when we are hurt. And we have the power to stop that. To express love in its highest form.

I’m ready to stop this cycle.

If you allow anything less than the highest expression of love, it’s not really in alignment with who you are.

Maybe that’s my problem, because I can see your essence. I can see your karma. And I’m empathic, so I feel your pain too. So naturally, it hurts me to see women fall back into disempowering behaviors with men. It hurts me when men hurt women. Does anyone else feel this?

And so I look to the underlying attraction. What is it within us that attracts lessons? Let me stop here and thank my analytical mind 😉 Sometimes the answers don’t come from the upper energy centers. They come from the heart. And from the gut. The gut always knows.

The question then becomes, how well aligned are we with the higher self?

If not aligned, you could be repeating and learning from the same patterns. The higher self recognizes the lessons learned and advances your karma to the next level. But if not aligned, do we learn the lessons and keep repeating? At least that’s how it feels sometimes.

That means there’s always more work to do to love myself even more, clearing the way to allow so much more love. It’s constantly surrounding us in a field of energy. Love is ever-present even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Please don’t talk to me about patience though. That’s for people who wait (jk). I’m not interested in advice or answers. I’m not interested in what people perceive to be normal. I’m not normal. Because for many other men, that means purposefully being an asshole to manipulate women. And when women allow that, it reinforces and anchors this type of behavior. That’s not good for any of us.

And that’s why I long for something more.

Everywhere I go I see people waking up from this stereotypical behavior of social conditioning. I’m looking within to find what I need. And that’s what the Goddesses are doing here on Earth. I know. I see you. I hear you. I feel you. I AM inviting you to this presence, an awakened love only possible with souls who are transcending their 3rd dimensional problems and stepping into their karmic paths of evolution.

We are in this together. So let’s be together.

Thank you. It is done. It is done. It is done.

=D

“There is strength and courage within you that can alchemize any challenge.”

– Niurka