The 12 Faceboochetypes: Which One Are You?

Your browsing activity says a lot about you. Everyone has their own unique style. And we can always find others like us. Such is the beauty of social networking. Here is a list of the different archetypes of the on-line community’s gene pool:

1)      The Likewhore – Everyone knows one. Maybe you’re one. The likewhore doesn’t care who’s posting or what it is about. They like everything!

2)      The Selfie Queen – They say selfies are linked to narcissistic behavior in some people and may be associated with mental disorders. They’re probably right. We all love attention and the Selfie Queen, whether male or female, knows how to get it. Let’s just post one more selfie. Ironically, the Selfie Queen can’t exist without Likewhores.

3)      The Silent Stalker – The opposite of Likewhore, the Silent Stalker sees everything but never leaves a trace. Perhaps afraid to hit like, or perhaps maybe just to observe what others are up to. Scary but true. They are among us.

4)      The Blind Follower – Out of 50 million facebook pages and groups, this one will follow them all. No allegiance to anyone, but a nonstop feed of useless information. The Blind Follower blindly follows.

5)      The Commentator – Yea, you’ve got an opinion. We get that. But whether we want to hear it or not, we’ll see your comments on posts everywhere. This is a likewhore that can’t shut up. Just keep it nice, or you’ll be the next one:

6)      The Hater – Yea, we’ve all encountered this before. Maybe you pissed off a militant vegan or someone religious, and then the hating begins. Hating can range from a wide variety of negative comments, silent judgment, voodoo magic or even death threats. Don’t be hating.

7)      The Politicians and Lawyers – Some people just love politics. They constantly share political posts and reflect their condescending attitude towards those who prefer kitty pics. These people provide the very foundation for haters to be haters. And that’s ok.

8)      The Foodie – For some reason, the Politicians and Lawyers hate you for making your breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, and dinner a priority over some other bullshit. But you don’t care. Just keep showing people what you’re eating or cooking. The Foodie is a fat enabler. And we all do it.

9)      The Religious – Some love to share non-stop posts elevating their belief system, praising God and Jesus. Sounds harmless, but beware the judging eyes of the Religious. They can have double identities of faceboochetypes. We also see anti-religious posts in this group. Face it – you’re doing the same thing as the Religious.

10)   The Inspirationalist – I think we’re all becoming this one! The Inspirationalist shares non-stop posts of inspirational quotes and graphic. Both uplifting and incessantly irritating, we just keep on giving! But has anyone asked do we really need this much inspiration? Try to limit yourselves to three posts per minute…

11)   The Abstract – Some people are just out there. Way out there. What they say and what they post is just – well, different. But that’s ok because you’re special. Abstract loves humor posts so much they can communicate through seemingly random jokes. The Abstract uses pictures to comment on other posts as opposed to normal people’s words.The Abstract may be the only one that the Likewhore won’t like – you gotta draw the line somewhere!

12)   The Baconator – You guessed it. We take pictures of bacon, share jokes about bacon, everything bacon, bacon, bacon. I think I want bacon. Did someone say bacon?